Well so much for writing more often! Good to have a goal right?! It's good for the soul. The best thing about writing a blog is that you can go back and read what you wrote and see how things may have changed, or how they stayed the same. Yes in the olden days we had our diaries, but in this new aged digital world. just maybe my words can have an impact on someone else as well. I suppose I would always wish it to be a positive impact but after seeing too many negative posts on many different forum sites over the years I know that won't always be the case. People need to just suck it up and realize that they just need to watch their own bobber and live. What I have been wondering for some time is what has happened to people that they seem to be getting more negative in life? Have they always been this way and we just have more access to now? Is the media creating more hype around things to keep that "shock" factor in everything? I think of myself as a half -full person and I think I have been that way most of my life. Of course would have to ask my parents and childhood friends to see if that is truly the case but I feel I have been. Of course I am no different than anyone else in that I get mad at stupid things and lose my temper at things that really have no merit to getting that upset on, but as a whole I really truly believe that life IS indeed what you make it so suck it up and be happy!
My oldest will be turning 20 this next year. Twenty! When did that happen? Just last week I swear she was 5! As she is now embarking on her second year in college I sit many nights wondering how I did as a parent...so far. She has taken a big leap and chose a school over 1,000 miles away so is that to get away from us or to just spread her wings? Of course the mom in me believes it is to chase her dreams. I am so glad she did. Regret in trying new things is a thing that I don't want my children to suffer from very often. I am not naive to think they won't have those types of regrets, but I want them to be few and far between. Recently she has called often about her classes this semester as she took on a hard and heavy load. She ended up really struggling in one and dropping the class and still has one that she isn't doing as well as she would like. One main reason, she really dislikes this professor. So here is a great life teaching mom moment. My advice to her?...suck it up!
There will ALWAYS and FOREVER throughout your life be people that you do not like. I don't like saying it in that way but it really is the best way to state it. But should you let that person ruin your life for you? Absolutely not! Will she get a great grade in this class? Probably not. Is she going to be pissed about that? Absolutely as that is her personality but she has to learn to suck it up. Take the good with the bad and let it roll off and move on. I know this is something I have been trying to teach them more so the last few years in life. When they are little I think we almost get too caught up in teaching the basics in life like walking, talking, kindness and empathy (hopefully), that I think we may miss some of the really important life lessons like self esteem and yes, sucking it up. But then we are set with the task of can you truly teach these things?
I remember growing up we had a program called "Project Charlie" in grade school. I don't remember all about it but I remember thinking it was a program to help you learn self-esteem and other traits. So I looked it up and it turns out it wasn't that at all but an early version of a drug and alcohol prevention program that no longer exists. I found this definition on the web, (so of course it must be true right?) Project CHARLIE (Chemical Abuse Resolution Lies in Education) is an attempt to influence children's attitudes and behavior concerning substance abuse by teaching them social skills and enabling them to resist peer pressure as well as informing them about drugs. Project CHARLIE incorporates the principal elements of a successful drug education program into its curriculum; however, its emphasis on self-esteem and self-awareness may be misplaced. Comparisons between primary school pupils exposed to Project CHARLIE for one year and peers who have not reveal that Project CHARLIE children: (1) have greater knowledge of the effects of medicinal, social and illicit drugs; (2) are more secure in their ability to resist peer pressure to commit antisocial acts; (3) produce both more and higher quality solutions to social dilemmas and fewer solutions of poor quality; (4) do not have substantially higher self-esteem. (https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=161429).
So why did I remember it as a self-esteem program? The only thing I can think of is maybe my instructor(s) main focus was love yourself enough to say no and not get involved in all that peer pressure crap. Which is a good thing to learn, then and now. Kids now do have it harder than we did in that if someone didn't like you and sent you a "bad note," all you had to do was rip it up and it wold be forgotten. Now it can stay and haunt you for days and even years. Even if you delete it, someone else may still have it and use it against you later. And there is always someone watching and taping you now as well. So how can you teach them that if your "friends" want you to join in something that is "bad" and you don't want to that you need to suck it up and realize they are not truly your friends and move on to find some new ones.
I think that even though I am a half-full person, I know most of that comes from being able to be happy with me and let things go. Now I am sure I was not always this way growing up and a lot of these things I have learned along the way but that is why communication is so important with your kids and everyone in your life. So figure out a way, as a parent, a family member or a friend to suck it up and have those sometimes hard conversations. Knowing that some times they may get mad at what you say but if they truly care for you and honestly absorb what you say, if it is something that is truly to help them in some way, they will always end up appreciating what you did to try and help them learn and grow as a person.
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